God is using me in a huge way right now... yet it kills me. I've been hurt and betrayed... yet I'm supposed to Love and extend Grace. How can I Love when I don't feel Loved at all. Somehow the choice to forgive was so easy... so right... so simple... so freeing.
Yet there are so many emotions, so many thoughts, so many questions... it's consuming me. I don't know why this is happening or had to happen, yet I know that I am called to show this world Christ. Even those who rip out my heart and piss on it... am I called to Love.
I don't get how I can feel like such a blessing to many... yet not blessed at all.
Yet he said,
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
I will hold onto and somehow trust in that...
Love.
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